28 April 2010

Embrace what you've been given.

I’ve been staring at a blank computer screen all week. I’ll type out a few words, then delete and walk away. Even now, I’m unsure of what to write- how to gather my thoughts. Do I write about the stresses? The good? The tiny moments I’ve capture and tucked away into my memory bank?

I suppose I’ll start on a more serious note- William’s blood results. If you’re new to this blog, William has had jaundice since he was two days old and his liver enzymes are reading very high. I got a call from the doctor yesterday letting me know that his jaundice has gone down to a 7- which is great, but his liver enzymes are still reading high, plus his kidney function is lower. What? When did his kidney’s enter the picture? No one told me anything about him have kidney problems to begin with. What does this mean? Do we need to get on a donor list? As of now, we’re waiting to hear from a specialist. Hell, I’ve been waiting and sitting in limbo for 10 weeks now, I suppose waiting a few more days is no biggie (note sarcasm).

On a positive note- William has almost doubled is weight since birth! He is now a whopping 11lbs, 12oz and is 23in long!

No matter what happens next, I know my babe will pull through. We’re a strong family, with strong faith. We put our worries in God’s hands and we know that he will provide and do what’s best for our family.

Despite the agonizing waiting game, we’ve had our fair share of bliss. Moments were time froze just for us. Were we can put everything aside and soak in the beauty that we’ve been blessed with.

Right when we thought Spring was coming- the snow was melting, the wildlife was starting to show its face again- we got dumped with more snow. That’s Alaska for ya. You never know what to expect and at any given moment things can change. Embrace it, because after all, isn’t that what life is? Expecting the unexpected. Adapting to your surroundings. Taking each day as it comes and making the most of it. The most of life.

So, that’s exactly what we did. We had one last hoorah in the snow. And let me tell you, I love watching these two bond. My heart fills up to its full capacity with happiness when they spend time together.

And you know what else fills my heart with happiness? Looking into these tiny almond eyes- his heart-shaped face- his pouty little lips and seeing one happy baby. This moment. This face right here confirms that everything is going to be okay.

12 April 2010

My Very Own Personal Mini-Human Bubble Machine

And It was Good

Easter is about celebrating Life. Whether from a religious perspective or from a nature perspective, it’s about renewal, birth, and growth. Baby chicks being hatched, flowers blooming, or bear cubs awaking from their winter slumber, it must all be celebrated. Life is truly a miracle. A gift.

This Easter was spent differently from those in past. Usually we’re surrounded by friends, family, laughter, and good food, along with an Easter sunrise service and egg hunts.

This year. This year we were solo. We missed church and our brunch reservations because William developed colic (well, we believe it is colic). So, we spared other families who were trying to enjoy their Easter Sunday by staying home. Since we were planning on having lunch out, I failed to buy an Easter ham and all of the fixings. A HUGE MOMMY FAIL!

We did however, enjoy a few quiet moments together. The quiet moments in itself was our little Easter miracle.

We baked…

We played…

The weather was even nice enough to spend some time outdoors!

Yes, we celebrated Easter differently than others this year, but it was celebrated. The true meaning was not forgotten. And it was good.

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What’s in a name?

I’ve gotten a lot of questions and comments about the name we picked out for our little guy. And thank you all!

The truth is, the name instantly came to me one day while sitting on the couch. It was like a light bulb turning on right above my head. William Emerson. Of course! There was no second guessing it.

William. William is a family name. My grandfather (who Ron never had the honor of meeting) was named William. My uncle- William Gregory. My cousin- William Parker. However, they all go by their MIDDLE name-except for ours.

Emerson. This name has sentimental meaning to me. I hold it close to my heart. Just know that I LOVE it and there couldn’t be a better fitting middle name in a million years!

Of course, there were names that came and went, like Jackson and Benjamin. But, nothing could top William Emerson.

What better way to honor my grandfather, than to name my son after him.

GUEST BLOGGER: My Husband’s Story on His Experience at the Father-Daughter Gala

A grand ballroom just beyond the trellis of pink and white balloons offered the realization of the sweetest dreams of every little princess: a bottomless bounty of confectionery delights, a bustling dance floor, elegantly decorated tables, a smorgasboard of foods ready to satisfy the most particular of 7-year old palates (mac-n-cheese, chicken strips, and PB&J). She enters escorted by her “king”, and is greeted by the Cotton Candy Princess herself from Candy Land. The princess and her “king” dance, laugh, eat, and drink to their content. Simply put, Krysta was in H-E-A-V-E-N.

Alaska’s chapter of Armed Services YMCA held their annual Father-Daughter Gala on Sunday, March 28th. It was a fun time spent with a wonderful little girl. The ASYMCA pulled out a few stops to create an incredible atmosphere just for the little princesses, whose ages ran from the gamut from barely walking to recently driving. So, I got dressed up in my Semi-formal Blue Uniform, and Krysta wore a beautiful dress she and Emily chose just for the occasion. Krysta dances and I, well, looked like a total goober in front of all the other dads who were likely thinking the same thing. Tables were set up on either end of the ballroom. Some were decked out with well-decorated displays of a range of candies, other with simple foods perfect for the young children. All in all, it was a great afternoon where we were able to spend a little time together, and Krysta truly got to feel like a little princess. Can’t wait for next year!

To My Daughter

Know that I am your greatest ally and fan. I will continue to applaud at your victories and walk with you through trails and mistakes. I look in your face and am proud of who we are- who you are as a result of being my daughter- and even more, proud of who I am because of the honor and privilege of being your mother.

~Letters to My Daughter

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Sunday was the Father-Daughter Gala at the Sheraton Hotel in Downtown Anchorage.

Krysta and I spent a lot of time searching for the perfect dress, tiara, and shoes. For weeks and weeks, she kept asking, “is the ball tonight?”


As the day approached, anticipation and excitement was coming out of her ears! She could barely contain herself!

While curling her hair and helping her get dressed for a night of dancing with her daddy, I couldn’t help but to think, nine years from now we’re going to be doing this again for her prom! I sat in amazement and in awe of her. Drinking in her playful spirit and mentally photographing those moments to forever hold.

She is a flower waiting to bloom, a butterfly waiting to fly, anxiously ready to take on the world.

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Happy Day

Have you ever had one of those days where you’re joyous from your head to your toes? Where you are constantly drunk off of life?

Well, that’s how I’ve felt all weekend.

We’re all four high on life. Enjoying the company of one another. Embracing one another. Savoring our weekend for every drop that it’s worth.
And to continue my out-of-control giddiness, we went to get Krysta’s nails painted for the Father-Daughter Ball!

I’m constantly amazed at how quickly she has grown into a little lady and at how well-rounded she has become.

Cherish these moments because you blink for a second, and they’re gone.

Catch life’s wave and enjoy the ride.

After a long winter, the sun was shining as bright as could be. So what did we do? We took advantage of it!

We stripped William down to his onesie and sunbathed by the window (it’s still in the 30’s, so hopefully Spring will be in full swing soon). As we all sat gathered around him, he soaked up our “ooh’s and ahh’s” like a sponge. My little squirrel completely bright-eyed.

William’s hand-eye coordination amazes me. He’s getting to be quit the pro at handling keys. Perhaps this is a look into the future when he’s 16 and handed a set of real car keys?

I’m head-over-heels in love with my little family. Our hearts spill over with love and pride everyday at just the sight of our precious babies.

Love life. Capture the tiny moments. Grab onto the everlasting memories that you make everyday.

I thank God for my beautiful babies, my beautiful life.

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Tummy Time FAIL

When I first saw this playmat at Babies-R-Us, I thought, “Oh, how fun! We have to get that- look at all of the colors and activities! He’ll LOVE it!” WRONG! As of now, he has zero interest in paying any attention to all of its bells and whistles. Perhaps it’s a bit over-stimulating.

However, this doesn’t surprise me. My first born had a similar one, except it was more “tunnel” like. It was passed down to me by a friend, who’s son didn’t like, then I passed it down to my aunt, and guess what? …her daughter didn’t like it either!

I’m not so sure if these playmats are even worth the money. We’ll see if he grows to enjoy it. The verdict is still in the air.

Does anyone have a special toy that instantly grabs hold of their child’s interest? What play activity do you recommend for babies?

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The Good and The Bad

I’m not sure how to write this, or even if I want to write this, but writing this helps me to not think about it…make sense? Yeah, it doesn’t really make sense to me either. My thoughts are all over the place.

If I could magically make March 15th 2010 nonexistent, I would. However, I lived it, we lived it.

I went to the hospital to have William re-weighed and to have another blood test ran to see if his jaundice had gotten any better…

The Good News:

William has gained almost 2 pounds during the past two weeks AND his jaundice has gone down 1.8 points!

The Bad News:

His liver enzymes were high. 684 to be exact- 420 is the highest it should be.

What do we do:

The doc called a specialist to see what the best plan of action should be. She recommended waiting a month- then retest. If the numbers are still high, then we’ll do an ultrasound to see if anything is blocking his liver, gallbladder, etc. THEN, we’ll talk about our options. What? Really? I want more answers than that! They did say, if I go on-line I would freak myself out because of all the possibilities this could be. Lovely.

I’m trying not panic- but not panicking IS making me panic. Can you tell that I’m ALL.OVER.THE.PLACE?

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One Month

Today officially starts off William’s second month of life.

During his first month:

  • we’ve learned that William gives the best fish kisses
  • we’ve gotten 1 1/2 hour intervals of sleep
  • gone through 7 bags of diapers and 5 boxes of wipes
  • started off wearing preemie clothes- now upgraded to 0-3 month outfits
  • gotten pooped, peed, and spit up on more times than I can count
  • learned that William’s favorite sleep spot is under my chin
  • has formed the cutest bond with his big sister
  • but, best of all, we’ve been extremely blessed!

P.S. Look at those perfectly sweet little lips!

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For the past two nights my little squirrel has slept for seven hours! It was seven broken hours, but I’ll take that verses the four or so that we’ve been getting for the past month.

What we’ve decided to do:

  • keep him awake as long as possible during the evening (recommended by Tabetha)
    bathe him and lotion him up
    dress him in fleece pajamas
    wrap him in a fleece swaddler
    feed him until he tires out
    play his seahorse until he falls asleep (recommended by Melissa)

As he gets older and his feeding/nap schedule changes, we will make some changes as well- but for now, this seems to do the trick!

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Mother Nature

ALRIGHT! It has been snowing non-stop for the last several days. I know I live in Alaska and we’re suppose to get lots of snow, but COME ON! I’m dying to get Baby William out of the house for some sunshine. We’ve seriously been hiding out indoors like a bunch of hermits.

Mrs. Mother-Nature and I are going to sit down and have a little discussion about this situation!

Back to the Daily Grind

Ron took three weeks off of work after William was born. It’s been great having an extra set of hands helping out. We had an awesome routine down- especially when he would change William’s diaper while I got ready to breastfeed.

Now it’s back to reality. I’m having to find two separate schedules-

  • One for myself as far as eating, showering, taking Krysta to school, and getting some housework done- without going insane or feeling overwhelmed.
  • The other for Baby W as far as his eating schedule, naps, and having everything he could possibly need within arms reach, like burp clothes, wipes, diapers, rattles, etc.

Everything seems to be falling into place fairly easy- of course, with the exception of being overly-exhausted during the evening hours!

Breastfeeding in Public

I have a little huge fear of breastfeeding in public. I’m so nervous that I’m going to expose myself trying to get William latched on or I would offend someone.

I fed William right before leaving the house to go tubing, hoping he would hold out until we got back home. As luck would have it, my bean decided to wake up for a diaper change and a meal. I thought, “Oh boy, here we go!”

I looked around the lodge trying to find the best spot where I wouldn’t be seen- there was none. Not only I was surrounded by people, but an entire ski team of kids with their parents! I kept waiting for one of the fathers to give me a weird look, a kid that’s a little too curious, or a mother to say something to me for breastfeeding in front of their children.

After all was said and done, no one seemed to notice. RELIEF! It’s going to take some time/more feedings to become brave with this whole “breastfeeding in public” thing.


Krysta's Birthday Get-Together

We all had a blast tubing and hanging out. There couldn’t have been a more gorgeous day! The snow was white, the sky was blue, the temperature was 20 degrees, and the sun was shining beautifully!

Krysta’s Birthday Get-Together at Hillberg Ski Resort, Alaska

Sleepless Baby

WOW! Lets just say that last night was rough. I’ve been setting my alarm clock for every 3 hours to feed Baby William- we have to feed frequently to knock out the jaundice.

After every feeding, William DID NOT want to fall back to sleep.

  • We tried rocking him the the rocking chair, standing up, sitting down, back and forth, up and down.
  • We tried turning the TV on and playing music.
  • We tried swaddling him in different positions- arms in, arms out.


Now, during the day, he’s sleeping like a champ! GO FIGURE!

Happy Birthday

On February 28 at 10:32pm, my Buttercup turned SEVEN YEARS OLD!


Father-Time must have blindfolded me and sent me through at time warp, because it seems just like yesterday I was chasing a little girl with pig-tails around the yard.