I’ve taken a bit of a sabbatical from blogging…but for very good reason, I may add. As most of you know, we’ve undergone a six month deployment, but what only a few of you know is the deployment has now joyfully come to an end. My heart still sporadically skips a beat throughout the day when I realize that we are together again—whole, as we should. I’ve dreamt of these moments of togetherness; and for 189 days, I’ve daydreamed and longed for these simplistic days where we do nothing but just be.
Deployments change you. Your focus changes, your priorities are distorted, schedules are rearranged, and at the end of it all, your thoughts and feelings begin shift. What seemed important before is no longer a necessity, but an afterthought. You’re striped down to your core, left raw rebuild yourself as a one man band walking on a tightrope. Instantaneously you become a professional juggler of mother and father, protector and nurturer.
Out of the past six deployments, this one repeatedly bitch slapped me-- emotionally and physically. It was by far the most difficult rotation that I’ve endured. A lot of uncontrollable situations rapidly spiraled down; situations that I left out of my blog, FB, and twitter for various reasons; situations where I needed my husband’s shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, arms to hold me, or a hand to help lift me up. I’m so grateful for my best friend, Tabetha, who encouraged, supported, and stood by me in my darkest days. Just the simplest phone call or text made such a huge difference in raising my spirits.
When the end of the deployment came to an end, I could literally feel the weight being lifted from my shoulders. The anxiety, the loneliness, the frustration, all came to a screeching halt. I had a sense of calm and peace wash over me, a feeling that I’ve been so desperately craving.
This moment was brighter than all the stars in the sky. It was so surreal seeing him again in person after so much time and distance apart. Magical.
Daddy is home.
The dark clouds are thinning and pockets of sun-rays are beginning to seep through.
We are complete. Whole.